The Great Return: Unconditional Love, Cont.

     Unconditional love doesn’t mean that a person has to tolerate mistreatment of any kind or stand by to witness a loved one destroy themselves.  No – unconditional love means that in spite of come-what-may, I’m going to love you anyway.  I’m going to reserve that place in my heart – that holy spot that only you can fill.  I’m not going to try to push or prod another into that spot, because that would be the epitome of ignorance or stupidity, or both.  No – there is only one hole that you can fill.  The hole is just made that way, as you are.  Each to their own…holes…in my heart….in their own time.

On standby.

Love,
The Holey One

An Interruption: of Dialogue

I am going to try something a bit more personal and intimate in this blog post. This is a step for me towards trust and faith. Trust in my life and all that comes with that. All that means to me.  I have a very scant following, but a following that I have great gratitude and humility for, so count does not matter to me.   1 or one million, it’s all the same.  Thank you for reading this all the way through should you choose.  Thank you.

I am a hider. I’ve hidden the majority of my life away. Especially that side of me that holds greater truths and values. These truths and values come to me in a myriad of ways, and I hide these beautiful truths within the bane and body of my poetry. And while most may not understand the depth of each poem, I know that with each and every word comes love. The truth. The essence of that which is – LIFE. Not the manmade life, but true and real life. Very few people know this about me, perhaps only two, the truth be known. I hide for fear of judgement and ridicule. I hide from the possibility that I might be labeled a charlatan because these words are original – the truth, ancient and of the Masters. They, the words, are mine, as they come through me and so I’ve no other to call upon for validation. To cling to in fear, other than myself. And so, it is because of this fear that I constantly check, double check and triple check myself. I am alone in this, with my source. We are talking about God here. The truth. And it is because I have doubted myself, my life, my God that I have died a million deaths to finally arrive upon the moors, if you will. So in that and where all else comes by way of bravery and truth, let these words be free upon you. Upon your minds and through the very souls that might pick this up again, and cast aside their doubt. There is a life and a God within you. Each and every one. Know this first and foremost. This God is your master, your teacher and the best friend you will ever know. Seek it. Allow it. Listen for it. It is Life everlasting to be lived now. Not during some redemptive process, but now. And while it is a process, learning to listen and trust the God within you, that only you can be; that is so private and set aside for only you that it is where no other may reside. It is your truth to have and to hold.

I am not religious per se, and yet I am.  My body is my religion, and I am love and loved.  I am the beloved of God.  It is here where the word of Life and Love has breathed and spoken me into being. It is within that the cosmos reside. It is within that all knowledge and understanding debate and redeem each other is such a fashion that love is perfected between. This is the very act of the divine masculine and feminine within. The very work and works of the Great Mother and Father of all. You are never and not alone. You can never be. It is only from the separation of the truth and love within, and without, that one finds oneself is such a disarray of proportional balance. Stuck within the bloodshed of man – faulty belief systems. The trench of war and wars. When this occurs there becomes a state of bondage because doubt: fear and loathing is in perfect balance with each other. Bound and tied at the quantum level of existence – the mind of man. The only thing that can save – truly – ever – is love, truth, life of the continuum. It is through this that all man shall grow and evolve and know himself, one to the other, as God. Sons and daughters, mothers and fathers of man and God in each and every one, as the Gods of Earth. The children of the Greater and Greatest love of all. The Holy Communion.

With all that said, I would like to share with you what it looks like for me to write a poem. As I wrote this poem I questioned myself and my God, my truth. I interrupted the creative process with questioning because I didn’t understand or trust where the poem was taking me, and I didn’t want it to be wrong and confuse me or others, or bring me shame. And so too, then, was it answered from my hand, my God, and my mind together. Please keep in mind however, it is doubt that caused this dialogue, so then, too, doubt becomes a gift because love would have doubt no other way – as a gift, because that is what love does. Always. Love. Because that’s all love can do and can be. In an eternal expression and in eternal ways of being – Love. Life everlasting. It is only because of our judgements that we cannot see this. But this, too, is such a love – judgement – at a higher level of consciousness. And this, for another time and place.
Okay…. Here goes….

January 2, 2019
Beleaguered man
Beleaguered sty
Where shall you
rest your head stead?

This is where I start questioning and am doubtful about the poem and start striking through and getting lost in panic because I don’t understand it and don’t want to be wrong and …

And comes the Answer: “stead was then, head is now. One cannot substitute for the other or be right or wrong, but what is now, where growth or change has occurred, in a positive or negative direction. All is good as all serves for the sake of goodness and growth.”

And comes me: So then why is my life so out of order and barren? Why do I continue to suffer so? Why can’t I be free to live and love selflessly? … But I don’t like that either. Why can’t I just be free to live out my dreams? Why must I be held captive?

Came the Answer as I was asking the questions, simultaneously, and so you will only see my response. But you will see through my responding what the Answer was.

And comes me continued: “Because I want to captivate? I do and I don’t. I truly just want to me free to live out the rest of my dream. This is my truth and desire. Will I ever be free? Truly?

And so today (Feb. 9, 2019) comes my answer: I Am. I am letting loose what I keep hidden. My God. And all that that means. And let what happens, happen.

Okay, all that being said, here is the poem in its entirety.

“Is All”

Beleaguered man,
Beleaguered sty,

Where shall you rest your head?
– in stead?

Grab your fleet
and grab your pail

death call upon your wail
~ your feet.

And when you cannot walk a step,
crawl another mile.

For there to see ~
The man they call
his name, his name!…

Is All.

~deanna

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