A Dissertation on Death: from the master within.

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One cannot force another to live – to choose love. It must penetrate and permeate the soul to reach the highest standard of life/love and fate. It must permeate and sometimes this can take time. But when time and space come together, it is in that great moment of now that love is freely felt and embraced. It cannot not. Because that is all love can do. Is love. What is love? Balance and absolution. Perfect in all ways regardless the situation or demonstration. Perfection. The are no such thing as monsters – only men who have created them. All things are beautiful. All. One must develop eyes to see the different levels of truth. The greatest truth of all: that you are Gods and Goddesses and no blindness can ever stop or dissuade this truth from being. It is the very epitome of death. So become you. Death. And live again and again and again. Grow, evolve, move. And bloom where you go. ~ deanna

An Interruption: of Dialogue

I am going to try something a bit more personal and intimate in this blog post. This is a step for me towards trust and faith. Trust in my life and all that comes with that. All that means to me.  I have a very scant following, but a following that I have great gratitude and humility for, so count does not matter to me.   1 or one million, it’s all the same.  Thank you for reading this all the way through should you choose.  Thank you.

I am a hider. I’ve hidden the majority of my life away. Especially that side of me that holds greater truths and values. These truths and values come to me in a myriad of ways, and I hide these beautiful truths within the bane and body of my poetry. And while most may not understand the depth of each poem, I know that with each and every word comes love. The truth. The essence of that which is – LIFE. Not the manmade life, but true and real life. Very few people know this about me, perhaps only two, the truth be known. I hide for fear of judgement and ridicule. I hide from the possibility that I might be labeled a charlatan because these words are original – the truth, ancient and of the Masters. They, the words, are mine, as they come through me and so I’ve no other to call upon for validation. To cling to in fear, other than myself. And so, it is because of this fear that I constantly check, double check and triple check myself. I am alone in this, with my source. We are talking about God here. The truth. And it is because I have doubted myself, my life, my God that I have died a million deaths to finally arrive upon the moors, if you will. So in that and where all else comes by way of bravery and truth, let these words be free upon you. Upon your minds and through the very souls that might pick this up again, and cast aside their doubt. There is a life and a God within you. Each and every one. Know this first and foremost. This God is your master, your teacher and the best friend you will ever know. Seek it. Allow it. Listen for it. It is Life everlasting to be lived now. Not during some redemptive process, but now. And while it is a process, learning to listen and trust the God within you, that only you can be; that is so private and set aside for only you that it is where no other may reside. It is your truth to have and to hold.

I am not religious per se, and yet I am.  My body is my religion, and I am love and loved.  I am the beloved of God.  It is here where the word of Life and Love has breathed and spoken me into being. It is within that the cosmos reside. It is within that all knowledge and understanding debate and redeem each other is such a fashion that love is perfected between. This is the very act of the divine masculine and feminine within. The very work and works of the Great Mother and Father of all. You are never and not alone. You can never be. It is only from the separation of the truth and love within, and without, that one finds oneself is such a disarray of proportional balance. Stuck within the bloodshed of man – faulty belief systems. The trench of war and wars. When this occurs there becomes a state of bondage because doubt: fear and loathing is in perfect balance with each other. Bound and tied at the quantum level of existence – the mind of man. The only thing that can save – truly – ever – is love, truth, life of the continuum. It is through this that all man shall grow and evolve and know himself, one to the other, as God. Sons and daughters, mothers and fathers of man and God in each and every one, as the Gods of Earth. The children of the Greater and Greatest love of all. The Holy Communion.

With all that said, I would like to share with you what it looks like for me to write a poem. As I wrote this poem I questioned myself and my God, my truth. I interrupted the creative process with questioning because I didn’t understand or trust where the poem was taking me, and I didn’t want it to be wrong and confuse me or others, or bring me shame. And so too, then, was it answered from my hand, my God, and my mind together. Please keep in mind however, it is doubt that caused this dialogue, so then, too, doubt becomes a gift because love would have doubt no other way – as a gift, because that is what love does. Always. Love. Because that’s all love can do and can be. In an eternal expression and in eternal ways of being – Love. Life everlasting. It is only because of our judgements that we cannot see this. But this, too, is such a love – judgement – at a higher level of consciousness. And this, for another time and place.
Okay…. Here goes….

January 2, 2019
Beleaguered man
Beleaguered sty
Where shall you
rest your head stead?

This is where I start questioning and am doubtful about the poem and start striking through and getting lost in panic because I don’t understand it and don’t want to be wrong and …

And comes the Answer: “stead was then, head is now. One cannot substitute for the other or be right or wrong, but what is now, where growth or change has occurred, in a positive or negative direction. All is good as all serves for the sake of goodness and growth.”

And comes me: So then why is my life so out of order and barren? Why do I continue to suffer so? Why can’t I be free to live and love selflessly? … But I don’t like that either. Why can’t I just be free to live out my dreams? Why must I be held captive?

Came the Answer as I was asking the questions, simultaneously, and so you will only see my response. But you will see through my responding what the Answer was.

And comes me continued: “Because I want to captivate? I do and I don’t. I truly just want to me free to live out the rest of my dream. This is my truth and desire. Will I ever be free? Truly?

And so today (Feb. 9, 2019) comes my answer: I Am. I am letting loose what I keep hidden. My God. And all that that means. And let what happens, happen.

Okay, all that being said, here is the poem in its entirety.

“Is All”

Beleaguered man,
Beleaguered sty,

Where shall you rest your head?
– in stead?

Grab your fleet
and grab your pail

death call upon your wail
~ your feet.

And when you cannot walk a step,
crawl another mile.

For there to see ~
The man they call
his name, his name!…

Is All.

~deanna

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Pain

 

      What is labeled as mental illness is simply the processing of mental pain.  By stopping or halting the process, the pain is held within the mind to grow.  Since all pain begins at the level of the mind, it is here where all things must be resolved.  Pain is held at a mental, emotional and physical level; or released therein.  Pain is not a “bad” thing, what I call righteous pain.  It feels good.  It is balanced and a tool for learning.  Suffering in pain occurs when the pain is not self created.  And what is pain?  Simply put – pain is the result of belief in distortions of truth.    To resolve mental pain, look to the body.  To resolve physical pain, look to the mind.  To resolve emotional pain, look to the heart.  ~Deanna

Of Monsters and Man

   My monster was my truth denied.  Be it by myself or another.  The child in the storm.  To grow myself up, I needed to be willing to change, and all that that encompasses.  My ways.  “What did I change?”, you might ask.  Too much to write about.  But if you want to do the same, my advice would be to just start somewhere.  Wherever that is.  Whatever it is you want to change in yourself and then ask your God for the ability to receive that gift.  God wants nothing more than you to be bestowed that which is meant for you/us.  As it is bestowed for one, so too is it bestowed for all.

God speed to you in all of the beautiful and wonderful and magical ways that God is.  A men.

deanna

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My Mother’s Love

The She of He, my Father’s love. Oh, how I love my God. Oh, how I love my God. My Love. My life. My friend.

I fall short. My words… and I cry… and the separation takes hold, again. Where sadness dwells, I go. Within.

~The Sin~

 

I separate myself from God’s love through doubt and worry. Worry what another might think or believe about me through the worshipping of my God. My Love. My source. My Life. It’s devastating to be separated from that which loves me so much. Devastating. But this is my reason for living. To know my Love. And it is through this knowing and understanding, coupled, that I find my wholeness and my life. This is my purpose. To live a life of truth and joy within the comforts and conscious minds of man, on earth and by and through my passions.  – Deanna

Calling Card

As it came to and through me. I have not and will not change the grammatical structure. It is Holy to me. It is of me. It is my Life. My Source. My Love. My God and God-ess. As I am and as it is. It is about the moment in which it was created. And so let it be about the sharing and caring. Let it be about nurturing and love. That which I am given and share.

I’m very selective with whom I share myself. I either know them or I don’t. Feel it, or I won’t.

Each to my own, in my own time…

I am not here, have not come to make friends, I am here to destroy the anti-Christ. The anti-Christ being that which holds me back from living my life, or that which is excessive in and through me. To myself be true. What is the anti-Christ then? Addiction and the result thereof.

It’s a genetic thing and a way of the world that is resultant of restrictions and confinement. But it is, the truth, that is, a way that must be learned. It cannot be taught – the way out. The way out of the bedlam and chaos, the result of dependency and co-dependency – The belief in not enough. The genetic factor of imbalance. The result of too much, too soon. And so it is for humanity to master self and others’ self for the sake of humanity. For the sake of one and all. For the sake of truth and righteousness. For the sake and love of God. Ye are gods and god-esses in the waking. Wake up. You cannot do this on your own. It must be done with and through each other. Through honor and self sacrifice. But through this comes forgiveness and redemption. Through this comes restoration and rejuvenation. Through this comes life eternal – here and Now. You don’t have to wait for the afterlife. You already are. Find it within you and you find it through others in meeting yourself again and again and again. To the end, to this end, amen.

deanna llyn